Thursday, March 6, 2008

Somehow a somber post....

I spoke to Cookiedough for the first time since her dad died recently. It was nice to speak to her; I was not sure at first if she wanted to talk, but she was ok with it. It was really heartwarming to know that she was coping well.

We talked about how difficult it was to cope with the loss of loved ones. And how more difficult it was when you were not there when they died. My mum passed away in Nov 2006 when I was on the flight from Sydney to Singapore after attending a course; and Cookiedough was in the United Sates when her dad passed away in Brunei early last week. However, it was harder for her as she could not fly back for the funeral, whereas I flew back home as soon as I was told of my mum's passing.

This reminded me of an entry that I posted on another blog. I thought I might re-post it here.

" ..... Was on the flight from Sydney to Singapore when my mum died. I was met on arrival by an RBA ground staff in Singapore and was asked to catch the next flight back to Brunei (I was initially supposed to go back the next day). She initially refused to tell me why I had to fly but I told her that I would not fly unless she told me why I had to fly home right away. Many thanks to various friends who helped arrange my flight back home that evening.

I went through denial, anger and sadness all in one go. I was bawling my eyes out in the middle of the airport terminal and I did not care what other passengers might think. The 2 hours flight back to Brunei felt longer.

Tho I was not by her side when she died and only managed to talk to her once while I was in Sydney, I felt fortunate that I was able to get back for her funeral. Many friends and colleagues came to offer their condolences and I thank you all for that.

It is almost 40 days since she died (which is the customary mourning period in Brunei). I still think of her and her memories. I regret of not spending more time than I had. Looking back, I wished I could do more for her. I just realised that I never had a picture taken with her alone. Now I promise myself I'd do those things with Dad.

Finally, Mum, I miss you..... Rest in peace.... Dan moga rohmu dicucuri rahmat.... Al-Fatihah...."

1 comment:

Cookiedough said...

Awwwww Bulgie...I'm already your No. 1 fan! Thanks for the post. I remember reading that 1st post of yours some time ago. We'll always remember that very moment when the world just shuts down around us. At the time I could only imagine what you were going through. Now I know....